Going, going, gone!!!
When I got to the counter the man started questioning my return (referencing that ticket I explained at the end of my last post). I’m sure the huge pack on my back had nothing to do with it. He said, “You’re not coming back are you?” to which I simple relied, “yes, actually I am. We’re staying with friends just outside of London.” He looked at me snobbishly and printed my ticket. Hey, I didn’t lie. He never asked if I was coming back THAT day and we are coming back through and staying the night before our flight home. I feel totally in good conscience about it. Sorry dude.
So we got on the train, clarified with the conductor when to get off and enjoyed the 2 hour ride. Oh yeah and I totally didn’t mention that this way, because we left earlier, we were going to get to Paris an hour earlier than had we taken the Eurostar. Awesome! We go to get off and the conductor waived us off, “No, no, this is platform 1 & 2, you want 5 & 6.” Um, ok. We sit back down and just as the train is pulling out of the station we see our conductor run, grab his bag, hop off the train he told us to stay on, and take off down the platform, up some stairs, and gone. Hmm…that’s interesting. You see, the train he had us stay on was to split in half at that station at which point only one half would get us to the bus we needed to get to the ferry. Welp, too late now. We keep going. I look out the window and notice we are now taking a sharp left turn. Uh…the coastline is to my right. I didn’t say anything to Janise because she’s already a nervous traveler, but I started to laugh inside as I watched our destination of choice disappear in the distance and be replaced with some of the most beautiful countryside that I’ve ever seen. I still have a game plan in the back of my head as I strain to see the map for our next best route. Eventually Janise realizes what’s going on and that we’re about to miss our originally desired ferry time. I explained what was happening and assured her we’d be just fine. I had three back up plan times for the ferry and all our needed trains. Don’t even fret it. I turn and spoke with a man sitting behind me and we figured outa new plan of action. We would ride the train to the end of its line, get off, take a bus to another train station, and that one would have a direction shot to Dover Prior, where we want to be. It stops, we get off, I’m being totally relaxed because Janise is really having a hard time with this, I’m staring at the bulletin board in search for something about buses, I mean how hard can it be?? We’re in an English speaking country for goodness sake!! Nothing. I can’t read a signal thing. I still haven’t a clue what all that information and those numbers were all about, bah! I don’t speak/read mathematics and that’s about all I was seeing. That was not one of the foreseen uses of all those math classes I had to take in high school and college. Luckily, the nice man STOPPED the bus and ran and came and got us on it. We get on and it is chuck full; everyone’s looking at us weird. We sat upstairs and the nice man followed. 20 or so minutes later he jumps up and says, “Ok! Let’s go!” Startled and clueless we nearly kill ourselves trying to get to the bottom of the stairs and the bus is rocking back and forth, forward and backwards. I’m pretty sure I nearly kill some little kid ;). Stuck behind all these people, we are last to get off and by the time my feet touch the ground our friend is gone and we’re both standing there totally unaware of where we are or what to do next. We walk into the nearest building which appears to be a train station only to be scoffed at with the news that due to the weather the train station is closed for the day. What? Ummm, isn’t this England? Like doesn’t it rain, I don’t know, 300 days a year????? Closed due to rain? Ok. He tells us to get to the train station we’d just left and it’ll take us to our ferry. Awesome. So, we head back out to the bus and our driver is there huddled with a couple others taking shelter from this life stopping rain (it’s like drizzling) and says, “Hey didn’t you guys just get off my bus?” Holding back giggles I explain and he informs us that yeah, the train we were on “ends” at that stop, BUT, and here’s the kicker, if we would have just stayed on it, it loops back around and stops off at our stop on its way to the main junction. Of course it does. Another 20 min bus ride back to whence we came and a hurried encouragement to jump on the next train left us sitting with tears of laughter in our eyes as the train starts and heads once again AWAY from our destination. Apparently THIS train opted for the direct return as opposed to the loop-da-loop. The new conductor approaches for our ticket and with a fatherly, knowing grin on his face upon hearing our tale of helpful people’s great intentions gone wrong he says he will accompany us to the right train once this one stops. Ooop, and of course threw in there that had we just waited 5 more minutes, the next train would have taken us right there. I’m lovin’ that phrase, “WOULD have taken you RIGHT there.” Music to my ears. Instead, a potential 10 min ride will once again be elongated and by that point we will have now missed not only “THE plan” and the backup, but even the back up for my back up plan. It keeps getting better and better, and I haven’t even told you how this effects out France travel options. Ha!
45 minutes later we pull into the main junction, you know the very first one where we tried to get off but the conductor shewed us back to our seats…yeah that one. By this point the conductor had brought us back to 1st class so he could make sure he knew exactly where we were and then grabbing one of Janise’s bags takes off speed walking as soon as the doors jet open. “Mind the Gap,” down the platform, up two flights of stairs, down another platform, and straight into a group of conductors, he says, directing his comments to a cutie old gpa conductor, “Hey can you make sure these ladies get on your train and off at Dover Prior?” To which he responds, “Oh they’ve been going back and forth on the trains huh?” We all burst into affirming laughter.
At least we weren’t the only ones, right?
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